Noticing that my incredible gratitude/surprise at people in my life helping me overcome problems might signal that, on the flip side, I’m not well-calibrated on how tractable problems are and/or am easily dissuaded by problems.
E.g., I had considered one solution that involved someone helping me, but dismissed it as too implausible. When I talked about my problem with the person, they raised the exact same solution I’d come up with - the one I thought would’ve been too ludicrous to ask for!
Examples of behaviours I want to do more of instead
- Ignore the first time the thought, “this is too hard, let’s give up” comes up
- Ask for things directly (bottleneck: social cost. Solution: find socially charismatic ways of posing requests? Maybe something like, “would it be absurd to ask for …?”)
- When faced with a problem I have no idea how to solve, set a 5 minute timer and brainstorm wildly. Then ask a friend.
- Generically adopting a policy of, “anything is solvable if you try hard enough!” (It’s just about the trade offs you’re willing to make)